As
I sit here in my downtown Seattle apartment, watching the revelers in NYC
celebrating the incoming New Year, it is difficult to not become nostalgic about
the year that was, and wonder what is to be in 2014. In retrospect, I am not sure that I can top
2013 for a lot of reasons, for it seems that aliens inhabited my body for 2013.
Aliens
must have entered my body because I look back at 2013 and can’t believe what
was jammed into a mere 365 days.
“Get
busy living, or get busy dying” – Red
In
January of 2013, I decided that I was sick of feeling like shit and feeling
heavy. I was about 205 pounds, ate
healthy during meals, but ate excessive crap including Cheetos, Cheez-Its, Reese’s
peanut butter cups, starburst, soda, mint chip ice cream and basically anything
I damn well pleased. My body mass index
was about 35%, which means that I was 70 pounds of fat and 135 pounds of muscle
and bone. I cut all the crap, including
soda, from my diet, continued to eat healthy during regular meals, and ate
fruit in between. I then went to 70
ninety minute hot yoga classes in 75 days.
The end result was 195 pounds and a body mass index of about
18-20%. This means that I lost 40 pounds
of fat and put on 20 pounds of lean muscle, at age 44. More importantly, I felt great.
“If
you think you can’t, you are probably right” – Henry Ford
In
February of 2013 I picked up roller hockey again and still play once a week,
and will begin to referee games this coming session. It was my first roller hockey game in 11
years.
In
March of 2013, I flew to the Dominican Republic for 10 days to vacation with my
parents and also to celebrate my Father’s 63rd birthday and their 45th
wedding anniversary. My Aunt Carole and
Uncle Don were there as well. While I
was sad that I didn’t have a personal travelling companion, it was an amazing
trip, replete with cigars and all the virgin pina coladas I could stomach. I am blessed to have parents that are only 63
years old while I just turned 45. It
helps that they are the best. It is a
trip that I will cherish more than any other.
In
March of 2013 I resurrected my volleyball career and played in 4 different
leagues throughout 2013. It was the
first time I had played competitive volleyball in 12 years.
In
March I ran the St. Patrick’s day footrace, 4 or so miles. Was in horrible pain for a week but had
incredibly fond memories of running with my Uncle Don right down to the beer
tent after the run. It was my first
footrace in 20 years. I also had my head
shaved for cancer research at an Irish Pub in downtown Seattle.
In
May of 2013 I resurrected my ice hockey career, and still play, once a week. It was my first ice hockey game in 9 years.
In
2013, I continued to practice the piano for as much as my schedule would
allow. Hanon is now my best friend with
Czerny a close second. Practice,
practice, practice.
From
January to April 2013, I was enrolled in the Executive MBA program at
Washington State University, and endeavor that began in January 2012. I completed this program, with a 4.0 average
and graduated in May 2013 with my Father, Mother and Brother in attendance in
Pullman along with 15 or so of the finest individuals that I have ever met in
my life, my classmates, and in particular the people that travelled together on
the China trip. You all know who you
are. I was never more fulfilled than
walking to get my diploma with my family in attendance. School always came easy to me and for my
entire educational life I never really had to put forth any type of effort to
pass. I didn’t put forth much of an
effort in high school, and little to no effort in my undergraduate studies. It took me 6 ½ years and 4 different schools
to get a degree in Finance, mostly because I was running around with a rather
severe undiagnosed drinking problem. For
the graduate degree, I worked for it, 30 hours a week for 18 months straight,
and turned in a 103 page thesis on a reinvention of the aluminum baseball
bat. I intend to eventually bring this
product to market. This degree was accomplished
while working between 60 and 80 hours a week as a corporate Controller and COO.
In
May of 2013, just before my official graduation from WSU, I enrolled in yoga
teacher training. At the time I had no
idea why I did this. It was a 6 month
intensive program that would require me to practice and learn yoga for 10 hours
a week and simultaneously upkeep my regular practice.
In
June of 2013, I flew to Minneapolis, rented a car and drove through the Midwest. In 9 days, I attended 8 baseball games in 7
different stadiums in 7 different cities.
The highlights of this trip are outlined in detail on this blog, but in
short:
·
I
got a speeding ticket in Southwest Minnesota whereupon hearing about the nature
of my trip, the state trooper ended up calling his friend who played third base
for the Omaha Royals. (The officer was
an ex minor leaguer). The player for the
Omaha Royals left me a free ticket at will call with a seat right behind home
plate. I thanked him in person when he
was in the batter’s box.
·
I
got to meet and spend quality time with a friend in St Paul who took me to a
place where they shared the experience, strength and hope of lives touched by
the grace of God. I am grateful that we
got to meet in person. In between I saw
the Twins beat the Mariners, twice.
·
Sitting
in the front row at Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City, I told the young newlyweds
next to me that I had never gotten a baseball at a pro baseball game despite
attending close to 200 games in my life.
They said they were at their first game, on their honeymoon, and would
love to get a ball. I said that if I got
one, I would give it to them. In the
first inning they got up to get a drink and Ryan Doumit of the Twins hit a foul
ball right to me. I gave it to them when
they returned. Have a happy life together,
and congratulations. I also ate pork ribs
in KC, in the ghetto.
·
In
St Louis, I ate alligator at a bar outside of Busch Stadium and at the stadium had
a couple stare at me for 20 minutes until the husband finally asked me if I was
Jim Harbaugh, coach of the San Fran 49ers.
They said I had a stern jaw because I was chewing a pretzel
aggressively. Paul Goldschmidt of the
Diamondbacks hit a grand slam in a D-Backs route. The game was rain delayed 2 hours. I also went up in the arch.
·
In
Chicago, a very hurried soccer Mom rear-ended me on Michigan Ave before I even
checked into my hotel. She said it was
my fault and that I should have pulled my car into the oncoming pedestrians. I practiced in a bikram studio down the
street from my hotel.
·
I
sat in the stands at Wrigley field, with the sun on my face, and watched people
stack over 200 empty beer cups into a tower.
Oh, and the Cubs were playing the Pirates. Liriano threw a two hitter. I also went to Comiskey Park and made it out
alive. I took the subway. Everywhere.
·
I
fell in love with baseball. Again. For the 100th time.
In
July of 2013, I was fired from my job.
"True
faith is not the expectation that everything will turn out well, but rather the
certainty that things will make sense no matter how they turn out." -
Vaclav
In
August of 2013, I was hired at Nike for a 60 day contract.
In
August of 2013, I was also bored and decided to build a yoga studio. I put together a comprehensive market study
on the yoga business in Seattle, market metrics and dynamics, competitive
analysis and business plan including financial projections and chose the up and
coming South Lake Union neighborhood.
God said to me, go build a yoga studio.
I listened, and now understood why I enrolled in teacher training some 4
months earlier. I found a space to lease
in 2 days. Within a week to finance this
project, 4 cosmic events happened. I was
overpaid for student loans, I settled a consulting contract with a former
employer, I got a severance package from my recent firing, and Nike hired me to
tide over regular income while the studio was built. I didn’t have the money to do this in July
2013. Nowhere near the money.
“Somewhere
over the rainbow, Way up high, there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow, Skies are blue, And the dreams that you dare to
dream really do come true
Someday I'll wish upon a star, And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me, Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly, Birds fly over the rainbow, Why then oh why can't I?
If happy little blue birds fly beyond the rainbow, Why oh why can't I?” –
Harold Arlen
In
September of 2013, I started a non-profit yoga practice in the Greenlake neighborhood
of Seattle. It didn’t go very well,
mostly because of the poor venue (a gymnasium).
In
September of 2013, I had elbow surgery on my right arm to relocate the ulnar
nerve. This is the same surgery I had on
my left arm in 2012. I missed one day of
yoga.
In
October of 2013 I finished yoga teacher training. In our final practice together, we all got to
teach a class to each other, together.
In dragon pose, I wept openly with happiness, and the bittersweet
knowledge that most of these people, who had touched my life more deeply than
they could ever imagine, would never cross my path again. That is the nature of life. The dragon pose picture is one of my profile
pictures on Facebook.
“Just
do it” – Nike ad
In
October of 2013 I built the yoga studio, by my own hand, with a deep internal
purpose that I was just beginning to understand. When writers and artists are asked how they create
what they create, they often say they don’t know, as if the end result was a
manifestation created through them by a higher power. This was the sum total of my experience from
August through late November 2013. I
cannot begin to write the experience of building the studio because it was done
in a dreamlike state where I seldom realized in the moment what I was
doing. I have attempted on many occasions
to journal the process of building the studio but consistently draw blanks in
my mind as to what I should write. I
just did it.
In
November of 2013, I moved, and also turned 45 years old.
In
December 2013 I opened Ripple Yoga. My
masterpiece. My heart, soul and spirit,
personified into its physical manifestation.
“Love
and fear cannot exist in the same heart at the same time” - Anonymous
In
2013 I tore down my mental and spiritual foundation. I actually razed it to the ground like a demolition
crew takes down a dilapidated stadium.
Some of this was started in 2012, out of necessity, out of severe
emotional trauma from my past. I had to
find out who I really was, and humility and acceptance were the keys. I learned that my inner child has been quite
displeased with me for most of my life. I decided to spend the rest of my days
dancing in the rain with my inner child, becoming one with my true self. Teaching, loving and learning.
Who
are you? WHY are you here? I am a teacher. I am here to inspire.
“Love,
Service and Unity” – Dr. Bob
I
attended about 200 twelve step meetings and shared the pain, suffering and
horror of active addiction with anyone who would listen. I tell them that from 2007 to 2009, I didn’t think
my life was worth living, and that I tried in vain, to drink myself to
death. But I also offered the hope and
beauty of recovery, and the story of a sober life well lived. I offered my hand out to strangers, new to
sobriety, served as a chairperson for 6 months at a lunch meeting downtown. The pain of addiction will never go away, it
is built into my being, forever. I cried
in that pain in 2013, often, even after almost 5 years of sobriety. Being an addict is an illness, much like
cancer as it slowly kills the inflicted, unless help is sought. Being in addiction is a disease centered in
the mind, a state of constant hopelessness and spiritual bankruptcy. Being in active recovery is a miracle offered
by finding the grace of God through humility and acceptance of the world as it
is. It is, however, a daily reprieve
based on the maintenance of my spiritual condition. If you know anyone in active addiction, pray
for them, as they can only help themselves when help is sought.
“We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose
more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each
day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is
in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to
it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass
for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us. Abandon yourself to God as you understand
God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of
your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in
the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge
the Road of Happy Destiny. May God bless
you and keep you - until then.” – Bill Wilson
I
have asked the aliens to leave. I have
cleared away the clutter in my mind, created the space in my heart, filled my
cup with love until it is overflowing.
Instead of letting it spill out into the streets, it is time to give it
to another human being beyond the love of my friends, students and family. I have enough for all of them, everyone that
is important to me, and then some.
After
living in Seattle for 9 years, I finally feel welcome here. Sort of J
“It's
raining in Baltimore, baby, but everything else is the same
There's things I remember and things I forget, I miss you I guess that I should
Three thousand five hundred miles away, But what would you change if you could?”
– Adam Duritz
In
God’s grace,
Your
humble servant,
Gary
